are you from planet 38?* 

"Sum-pat"

That's the term I give when I meet someone who utters the most ridiculous verbal garbage thought possible, and at most times border close to sheer silly stupidity. It's basically the pronunciation of the number "thirty-eight" in Hokkien. Synonyms t0 jakun and sua-ku.

If I am in the mood, I will exercise my laser tongue to shoot back and have fun with the verbal war. When not, I will just give my infamous devil's stare before walking off.


Once in a blue moon, I think I fall into the same 38 trap. The fault lies in my retard genes and hermit schizo traits which resulted in excessive failure to make small talk to strangers. Some see this as arrogance. But that's so untrue.

Here's some interesting dialogues to share:

Dialogue #1:

As I volunteered to drive on a group outing, this lady friend asked me on my action and I explained...
Me: I don't mind...I like to drive, I find it therapeutic.
Specimen 38-#1: If you like to drive so much, why don't you get a job as a taxi driver?
Me: (scratch head) If I remembered correctly, you enjoy sex very much. So why don't you prostitute yourself?


Dialogue #2:

Me and my girlfriends were in the same lift with Greg Lyons after Pete Teo's Green Room Sessions. After the customary exchange of smiles, I wanted to tell him how much I enjoyed the show.
Me: Hey, great sax!
Greg: *sheepish grin* Thanks! (Retard!)
Mei and JJ could only afford to roll their eyes in disgust at my miserable pun.


Dialogue #3:

Specimen 38-#2: Hey, how long is the KL Fashion Week?
Me: How long do you think?


Dialogue #4:

Specimen 38-#3: Hi, my name is Sally.
Me: Hi Sally, my name is Anjali.
Specimen 38-#3: Anjali, is that Indian?
Me: No, it's African.
Specimen 38-#3: Really ah, but you don't look African woh...
Me: Ya, my father's Chinese.


Dialogue #5:

Once every purple moon, I would wear baju kurung to work and that become an open invitation to some unwelcomed remarks from the Malay men.
Security Guard: Eh, lawa hari ini pakai baju kurung. Tapi apasal tak pakai tudung sekali?
Me: Sebab I suka tunjuk aurat!

Dialogue #6:

On Jay Leno's show some time back.
Scenario - JL was interviewing college students at random. And this is a classic.

JL: Who invented the light bulb?
Girl: Err...I am not sure. Can you give me a hint?
JL: The name starts with the letter 'E'
Girl: E, E, E...Is it Eddie Something?
JL: Hm, that's close. Could it be Eddie's son? Get it? - Eddie's son??
Girl: I'm sorry...I don't know the answer.
JL: How about Edison?
Girl: Ya, ya...I heard of that name!

Are you a resident from planet 38 too?

Got any to share?

April 27, 2005 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 1:11 am
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