glamorous is not me* 

Ever woken up feeling all perked up?

Of late, I've made some effort to look good. Guess it's true - when you look good, you feel good, you walk good, you act good, you put on a good behaviour, you smile good, you talk good. Basically, 'good' becomes your middle name. When you look at the mirror, you see 'good' written all over your forehead.

At times, it's 'great'. Sort of a bonus.

On some blue moons, it's 'glamourous'. And that's when God will pull pranks on me, and I'm back on earth again.

How do you feel glamourous when...

You gave your best smile to a cute guy, only to realise later there was a small cut red chillie on your front tooth.

You walked on air, only to trip amidst a traffic jam.

You realise the key reason people stopped and looked at you when you walked into a room was due to exposed cleavage...coz your button decides to have a field day and opened itself to the public.

Your most expensive g-string falls over the balcony and commit suicide.

But today, I do feel glamourous.

Why? Coz the old makcik at the coffee stall said I remind her of Ning Baizura. Hah! Funny. I asked, "Aah? Ning Baizura? Belah mana sama dengan dia?". (I was praying silently her response won't be "Muka sama dengan bontot dia lah!")

Then I realised I wore my darkest red lipstick today, on my thick, thick lips. The same lips which my sister said belong to Tracy Chapman.

Such a sucker I am. But a glamourous sucker, nonetheless.

March 31, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 12:51 pm
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lost* 

is this the beginning or is this the end
words will only discount the turmoil of emotions
in my heart
in my mind
in my spirit
in my soul

am i to cry when a good thing ends
when it only promises
a new episode of something better
maybe

am i to laugh
in welcoming
the cold light of a new day
not knowing what to expect
not knowing how to react
guess i just have to live it
and be optimistic
and try to make a difference
and live to tell

March 30, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 2:16 am
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conversation with God* 

This was sent to me, by my boss, via email today. Nice and so true. I guess all of us have been, at one point or another, guilty of neglecting God...

God : Hello. Did you call me?
Me : Called you? No...who is this?
God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me : I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something..
God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me : Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me : I understand. But I still cant figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me : Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me : Why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me : But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me : But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.
God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me : If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me : You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In every terms, experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me : But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me : Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me : Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me : In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me : What surprises you about people?
God : When they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me : Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me : Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Year with a new sense of inspiration.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

March 29, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 12:59 pm
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walk the talk* 

It's been a good two weeks since I had this telephone conversation with a very close girlfriend. And yet this joke has been constantly playing peek-a-boo on my mind since.

After much updates on eachother's lives, Jo and I both realised that one of our major weaknesses is that we are very vocal. At times, downright blunt. Female versions of Simon Cowell, of American Idol fame. Not as cute, but close enough. No Brit accent either.

Why a weakness? Coz most guys don't fancy that, I think.

Then, we realised that being blunt worked well as our strengths too.

We are just simpletons. Honest beings, who express exactly what we feel and think. If we're pissed, we let you know we're pissed. And if we think you did good and we're proud of you, we say so. And we let you know if we love you. And respect you.

And we don't keep grudges. And that has to be good.

Jo's conclusion?
"Aiya, at the end of the day, we have more balls that the guys lah!"

My response?
"So, is that why we walk funny?"

Hm.

March 22, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 5:15 pm
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bragger, bugger off* 

Just finished a launch dinner for an airline client, on the occasion of relaunching their flights to and from KL.

Dinner was grand and nice. Was there with another campaign team mate from another company. An empty table, we chose. She had the better luck of having a cute Morrocan guy sitting next to her.

Me? As always, I attract only the outcasts. A group of four Chinamen asked if they could sit to my side. And the loudest of the lot sat next to me. God is having fun picking on me again.

Gosh. What a turn off - not only was he loud, he's a brag drag too. Everytime he laughed at his own corny joke, I could only twinge in disgust from the sight of saliva shooting in bulleyes accuracy towards my Chinese tea.

When he offered me some red wine, I told him "Sorry, I don't drink."

"Sure or not you don't drink? You women ah, say only don't drink...but when you all get the taste of alcohol ah...waah, some even beat the guys flat! Come lah, drink up!"

I showed him my black face and replied with a firm "NO, GET THIS, I DON'T DRINK!"

Then he placed his arms at the back of my chair and bored me with his life story. Another sad case of LOA - Lack Of Attention.

Aiyo, mister, who cares if you have been to London 3x and Australia 2x. Who cares if you spend one week in Koh Samui with just RM300. Who cares if you're over 40 and is still single?

He prides himself that he can thank the waitress with 'Nandri' whenever she serves him tea. 'Yes, I can speak Tamil. I have a lot of Indian friends.'. The waitress seemed to enjoy the attention extended her way. Another victim of LOA.

I had wanted to tell him 'Vai-ye-moo-dhe' (Keep Quiet) and maybe paint a few rainbows with my colourful vocabulary of Tamil foul language.

And maybe rearrange his face a bit. But I didn't want to soil my hands - too much saliva to wash off.

Thankfully, Mr Cute Morrocan came to my rescue. I had fun teaching him how to use the chopstick. And cracked a few jokes - yes, some were a tad corny but at least he's cute when he laughs. Got dimple some more leh.

Bias? But of course.

March 19, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 1:53 am
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ben melting* 

I'm melting. And drooling. For Ben. Ben Harper. Super macho. Super handsome. Super tattoo on both his arms. And with that sexy gap between the teeth! Many times I entertain the idea of feeding from the tad leftovers stuck in that gap. Yum.

Song of the month - 'Another Lonely Day'. Especially the acoustic version - in his love-torn dreamy voice.

Check out the lyrics. Definitely the saddest love song, and yet the most sexiest. Melting, melting, melting.



Another Lonely Day
Yes indeed I'm alone again
and here comes emptiness crashing in
it's either love or hate
I can't find in between
cause I've been with witches
and I have been with a queen
it wouldn't have worked out any way
so for now it's just another lonely day ay ay
further along we just may
but for now it's just another lonely day
wish there was something
I could say or do
see cause I can resist anything
but the temptation from you
but I'd rather walk alone
than chase you around
I would rather fall myself
than let you drag me on down
it wouldn't have worked out any way
so for now it's just another lonely day ay ay
further along we just may
but for now it's just another lonely day
yesterday seems like a life ago
cause the one I love
today I hardly know
you I held so close in my heart oh dear
grow further from me
with every falling tear
it wouldn't have worked out any way
so for now it's just another lonely day,ay ay
further along we just may, ay ay
but for now it's just another lonely day

March 18, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 7:30 pm
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tan ah yam, i'm sorry* 

Familiar with the phrase 'what goes around comes around'?

While having lunch with my clients yesterday, I joked about how the paid lunch was more of a full feeding before the slaughter - they had conned me to be the co-emcee for a short product talk session.

I had also told them how, when I was about 8 years old, enjoyed making prank calls when no one's home. Not just any prank calls, mind you. I focussed on only one victim - one poor soul, whom I had selected from the phone directory listing.

I found his name amusing - Tan Ah Yam. Gosh, how could any parents name their child like that? Are they ignorant of what it sounds like?

I'd dial the number and upon hearing a 'Hello' on the other end, will scream 'Tan Ah Yam, Tan Ah Yam, Tan Ah Yam, Tan Ah Yam, Tan Ah Yam, Tan Ah Yam...' until he hangs up. And that will continue for a good three to four times until he refuses to pick up the call.

Yes, I know. I am one sick child. And I'm afraid this sick child has grown to be one mad woman. A mad, mad woman, indeed.

Well, God is just. I've paid my dues.

I had to tolerate my share of prank calls when I was working as a Pizza Hut telephone operator during my college years. The calls came from both children and adults alike.

Examples of sick calls:

1. '755-25-25 jingle' sung loudly, followed by amused laughters.
2. Heavy breathing (I sighed back)
3. 'Do you have big tits?' (Err, not as big as your mama's)
4. 'Hallo, why my pizza so late, ah?' (Donno. You ask me, I ask who?)
5. 'What other extra toppings can you put on my pizza?' (How about I punch your face, and put all your teeth on top?)

I was given a warning once because the caller complained I was being very rude. How can I be nice to a moron who threatened to call the Prime Minister to shut down all Pizza Hut outlets, just by the mere fact that his pizza was late by an hour? Me, being rude? Can't be. I just replied nicely and sweetly, 'Sir, you think the Prime Minister is very free, is it?'.

Anyway, one fine morning, after 4 looooong tormented years, I woke up and decided I had enough. So I called my supervisor and told him I wish to resign. And that was that.

So yes, what goes around comes around. And it was quite a painful experience.

So, Mr. Tan Ah Yam...I am really sorry for my insensitive pranks. Please accept my apologies.

March 14, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 2:38 pm
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itchy hands of the world unite* 

It all started with Mei, who decided to change her blog skin and posted 'ichified'. Then i decided to join the itchy bandwagon and create a new skin too, which gave me endless migraine, but upon completion, an indescribable sense of achievement. The feeling is better than chocolate!

Then Mei had a visitor called David Wang, who posted a comment on her new template. So, with dire craving for some cyber attention too, I invited David to comment on my new skin. Which he did, obligingly, and had since became my html consultant.

This new improved look is the result of David's superb coding advice. The wonderful irony is his site is called itchyhands.com!

Nice coincidence, eh?

Hey David, let's meet for some premium-priced canai and teh tarik as my gesture of appreciation. Will drag Mei along, when she returns from NYC. How about 'Canai & Such' at Sunway?

March 07, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 8:14 pm
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picasso* 

if i like you
can i paint your face
in my dreams
with a smile so radiant
so contagious
i want to shout
and jump
with joy

and if i dislike you
can i rearrange your face
that i can even put
picasso to disgrace...

March 04, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 2:41 am
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relationship questionnaire* 

Excerpt from High Fidelity by Nick Hornby:

'Barry compiled the questionnaires and presented it to some poor woman he was interested in; and she hit him with it. But there was an important and essential truth contained in the idea, and the truth was that these things matter, and it's no good pretending that any relationship has any future if your record collections disagree violently, or if your favourite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.'

I violently agree. I honestly cannot see myself going out with someone who is the proud owner of the full collection of albums by MLTR, or at one point in his life rated 'Lemon Tree' as his favourite song. Ewww.

This thought brought me back to the torture ride I took from an ex-schoolmate back in 2000. With the CNY crawl along the NS Highway, I had to endure his excellent collection of Hokkien songs (err, I'm being brutally sarcastic here), Engelbert Humperdick, MLTR, Cliff Richard and his wife's Lemon Tree remixes.

I nearly wanted to jump out through the car window when he called me a party pooper and asked me to sing along.

My best exit idea was to pretend to sleep, but instead was praying in tongue for patience and love for the human race.

I never hitch any ride from him after that, neither do I join any reunion that includes him in the guest list.

(Footnote: Just to be clear, I was referring to 'Lemon Tree' by Fool's Garden; not the song of the same title by Peter, Paul & Mary - which was and still is awesome.)

March 02, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 5:22 am
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