HOWDY! This is a platform for me to express myself. To bare my thoughts, emotions and life stories. Leaving bite-size pieces of me before I go. I graciously invite you to comment, swap stories and thoughts. Please post your comment or get in touch with me here.
Signed, Sealed, Delivered
Signage seen at University Malaya’s fence:
Ikan Haruan – Cook, Clean, Deliver
October 13, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 8:24 pm
Love Is A Many Splendored Thing
Love Is All Around
Love Makes the World Go Round
'It's better to love and lost than never to love at all'
Well, that's what many song titles and philosophers will tell you about love.
But I've realized that love also makes people do the silliest things. Making an arse of yourself. Makes you suffer momentary paralysis of certain senses, or organ function. Worst still, temporal comatose of certain organs. All of which will never happen if your heart did not go a thumping when the loved one draws near.
Most of my close girlfriends are brilliant lots. Independent chicks. Street smart. They know what they want out of life. Even if life sometimes does not offer them so, they will pursue their hearts desire, slowly but surely. They are masters of their destiny. Vocal lots; but never whiny. Witty. Superb sense of humor. They have high self-esteem – but not arrogant. Confident enough to laugh at themselves.
And we will never be caught dead being 'damsels in distress' though that would surely win the popularity votes with the men.
But of late, certain turns of events have proven incongruous results, which defy all the abovementioned traits.
Av is the cili padi type of a woman. She stands pint size at 5'1". But that size is deceitful. Don't even dare to piss her off. When her volcanic rage erupts, you will suffer the fate worse than that in Sodom and Gomorrah. When she tells you 'Don't play play', she means it. So the best advice is 'Go play far-far'.
But Av has been in love recently. Her prince charming, Spenz, came galloping all the way from Penampang, Sabah and his surname sounds like some scientific name for an ethnic caterpillar. (Hah…I just self invited myself to be fried! Oooo…and he’s the descendent of the Monsopiad tribe too, the type that beheads victims at war. Aiyo – cari pasal lo.)
Having gone out with them a couple of times, I've noticed that Av has somewhat lost that independence she pride herself to be.
All her fingers have lost function when it comes to opening the car door. Such simple task! And when she goes for seafood dining, again the fingers have forgotten how to peel the prawn shells. And if I remember correctly, she longer knows how to cross the road – so thank God Spenz is there to give the guiding hand.
Most of us learn how to tie our shoe laces by the time we enter the nursery age. And yet, Ir, another intelligent, witty and independent chick has totally forgotten how to do that when Mr.M is around. This reminds me of the movie 'Regarding Henry', to the scene where Harrison Ford relearns how to tie the shoelace from his daughter. But he has a good reason - he suffered amnesia resulted from a gunshot wound on the head, in a mini-market robbery.
Thus, Mr.M has to tie her shoe laces for her. Aiyo.
I hope she still knows how to button her clothes though. Any amnesiac response to that will just sound dubious. Hee.
Then there's me.
Enters the character called Jess. Well, he's someone whom I used to have a major crush on 2 years ago. We met again after an 8-year hiatus when he became a talent for my TV commercial. The hour-long catching up was wonderful - we talked. And talked. And talked. And he looked as good as I remembered him. After that, there were follow-up phone conversations and emails.
We had wanted to meet up but our schedules were never obliging. But I had envisioned him appearing at the office lobby and then we'll go out to have a good first outing.
The day came.
It was a bad day at work. 'Fudge it. I'm going home!' I thought to myself. At 5.00pm, I packed my stuff and head down the lobby to the car park lift.
And there was Jess - standing at the end of the hallway. Our eyes met. For a moment, my heart stopped beating. My mind raced like Schumacher.
'Am I dreaming?' I asked myself in disbelief as my eyes blinked copiously. Jess was standing at the same spot as I dreamt it. I pinched myself and it hurts - so a dream it definitely was not.
I smiled and walked towards him. "Hey u, what are you doing here?"
"Oh. I have a wardrobe fitting for another commercial. That should finish in less than an hour."
We stared at each other in awkward silence for a couple of seconds. Then he popped the question, "Hey, you wanna go for coffee later?"
As the sonic wave hit my eardrums and transmitted that to my brain, and registered the question, I was doing visual acrobatic somersaults. "Oh Yes! Yes! Yes! Of course I want to have coffee! Are you kidding? Do you know how long I have waited for this?"
Then, beyond myself, I heard "Err…not really. I want to go home."
My heart sank in utter disbelief!
"Moron! Moron! Moron! What are you saying, Anjali!!!"
He looked rejected when he replied, "Oh okay, maybe some other time then."
"Ya, some other time then, Jess. See you." I said sadly.
I headed silently to my car. As soon as I got in, I hit my head incessantly against the steering wheel, angered at my own stupidity.
"Bodoh! Want to go home??? Never go home before, is it???"
"That was one lost opportunity, Ms. Retard!"
Yep, the retard me have emerged again. My own mouth defies me in contempt at critical, vital moments. Against my heart. Against my will.
October 11, 2004 // anjali* pranced on tip-toes all over the keyboard at 6:55 am